Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
