OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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