When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
