hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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