i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
