If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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