So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
