? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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