the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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