I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
