I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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