we have pet lesbian snakes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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