butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize