when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
