she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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