Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
