this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize