I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
