he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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