your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
