Cold hands, warm shart.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
