He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
