Who wears a wallet chain?!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize