So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
