Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
