Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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