Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
