worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
