How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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