Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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