how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
