Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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