Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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