I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
