did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
