you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He passed out mid-signature
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to make out with him forever
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
