hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
