I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
