Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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