So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
