best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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