I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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