We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize