I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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