She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
