I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My bed smells like the plague
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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