remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
this will be a night to untag.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
