Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
