You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
