hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
