that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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