haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
