No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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