My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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