Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
