office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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