Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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