i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
