Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
