i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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