my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
