it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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