I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
